Thirteen Ways of Growing

I
the confrontation of confusion
slipping into the looming idea
the scary parts
head on with veiled fright

II
wielding the swords of self
up for the battle
heaven or hell
why avoid thinking too deeply

III
feeling deeply
not much to crack the human inside
dead eyes alike 
with glimmers breaking light

IV
dim the spark further 
until the heat shatters open a new flame 
conclusions
much to attain

V
wisely picking at the healing scabs 
nerves raw
water to the fuse of thought
slipping into the endearing fog

VI
rising to the occasion
hands up for humiliation 
accepting the defeat at the feet of loud words
adopting the wave of retaliation 

VII
the rhyme of song
inside heads
music of screaming voices into small boxes
begging to alert attention

VIII
inherited acceptance 
what's to come
what had passed
and what is

IX
beautiful like sickness
festering through
adapting to the form of a recluse
unattainable

X
the understatement
realization of the cords
the strings and the keyboard
melodies forming the frequency of bullshit

XI
found its way to be heard now
unavoidable thought patterns
paradoxical learning and unlearning
years of stones again turning 

XII
no longer avoiding the confusion
dissociating the delusion
parts of bodies breaking through thin glass
left with a few functioning illusions

XIII
molecular errors
one compound of two parts
creating clouds raining down
sprouting fully realized hearts